Teach Me How To Fly
by Goliathus Regius
Summary: A collection of short stories that all share one concept. Guess it to get a special prize. Pairings so far: Gakupo x Oliver.
1. About

Hey, glad you came to check this out! Now, keep in mind that I'm not a great writer, but I thought this would be a way to improve my writing skills, while having a fun time with other people.

This is an experimental way of publishing stories, a bit different from regular one-shots or full-length stories you'll find on the internet. I'm doing a collection of five to ten stories that all revolve around a central theme, basic story line, or have some shared component. The first person to guess this component (put your guess in the review) gets to chose the next theme or basic storyline of the next set of short stories I do. And, they get to chose the fandom (HomeStuck, Vocaloid or original stories are preferred but hey I'm up for whatever, so long as I know it or you give me a little time to become familiar with it) that the stories come from. .Although, the themes have to be something I can do, so don't get too crazy on me. From these stories, you'll see my strengths in writing, so if you're the winner, keep those in mind.

Or, if you really loved one of the short stories (which you shouldn't) I'll finish it, making it a full-length story instead of a short one.

It will take me a bit of time between stories, as I have a lot to do, but I'll try to update as much as possible here.

Each time I start a new collection of stories, I'll create a new story for them. The begining chapter (here) will tell you if the colection's been completed, and if it's been solved yet. I'llalso post the information on my profile page, so check it out there if you want. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to message me!

Teach Me How To Fly (Uncompleted, Unsolved)

But I'm Afraid Of The Dark


	2. But I'm Afraid Of The Dark

Part 1:

The man hardly surpassed a groan when he glanced over the list of patients he would be in charge of caring for today. This was just great.

For the most part, he had been assigned to act nurse for the usual crowd. Some idiot who broke his arm skateboarding; a girl with a broken collarbone, etcetera. But one of them was definitely different. He didn't know who, but someone had thought it would be a good idea to give him responsibility over a brain-tumor patient.

Gakupo guessed he didn't really have any right to complain over this. He knew well that he was getting paid to do this job, after all. And all he had to do was give the kid some medicine and check his I.V, like the usual patient. But still, he didn't like the idea of caring over someone terminal, or even if he wasn't, a person who was more likely to die than the hospital would like to admit. His record wasn't exactly what Gakupo would call good, after all. He was only Gakupo's age, but had about a dozen surgeries already to fix his head.

Oh well, at the very least he was around Gakupo's age. Still, he assumed it would be pretty miserable. But the word "assumed" wasn't for sure. He hadn't actually looked after a patient with cancer or a tumor or any of that before. And he didn't really want to. It looked like he didn't really have a choice.

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed his turquoise scrub - the color signifying he was a low-level nurse. Maybe that would change now that they've started assigning more high-care requirement patients to him? He hoped so. That would mean something good came out of it.

Oh come on and get over it, he said to himself silently as he stalked out of the room to get dressed; Maybe it won't be that awful. Even if it was, it wasn't really a big deal; right? He didn't have to love the kid, only take care of his basic needs. '

'Yeah, it shouldn't be much harder than my other jobs.'

It took him a few minutes to get dressed, and then he got started on his usual rounds. Everything went fine, and after running into a particularly cheerful young girl, he was actually in a fairly good mood. That is, until he met Oliver for the first time.

It was a surprise for him. His paper had said 16, only two years younger than Gakupo was. But, he could've sworn when he first walked in that bleak hospital room the teen was 13. Maybe younger, even. He just looked so small and defenseless in the bed, exactly like a young child.

He moved even closer to the bed, getting a better look at the boy… Gakupo glanced at his clipboard again. Oliver.

The blonde must have been either sick for a long time, or simply naturally small. Either way, it couldn't have been good for him to be in here. He didn't seem to have a bit of muscle or fat on him. And yet, for some reason, there was something… He couldn't quite explain it to himself. Attractive? Handsome?

Cute?

He didn't really know what it was: his shaggy blonde hair, his figure, or something else entirely. He pushed the thought out of his mind and continued the procedure.

"Hey buddy, time to wake up." He shook the blondes shoulder softly.

One amber eye blinked up at him, the other covered by his long hair. Gakupo though for a moment about pushing it out of his face, but decided against it, turning back to his cart.

"I wasn't sleeping," a soft, hoarse voice told him. Gakupo turned back to him, slightly annoyed. Great, he was one of those wise-guy patients who thought they could say anything they wanted because they were sick.

But, to his surprise, Oliver looked sincere.

"I can't sleep much anymore," he continued in a quiet tone, sounding detached from his words, almost like he were speaking about an unfortunate stranger than himself. "I get too many nightmares, and I think they've messed too much with my brain."

Gakupo made a small "hm" noise as he nodded. "I'll tell the doctors, then."

"No!" Gakupo flinched slightly when Oliver's voice gained strength. "I… I don't want them to put me on even more drugs." Oliver looked away from Gakupo miserably. "I just figured if you were going to be looking after me for a while, you might want to know…"

"I don't intend to, but thanks anyway." Despite his words, Gakupo frowned slightly. He wish he had known earlier that he wasn't just going to be looking after a brain tumor patient, he was also looking after an insomniac. That was going to make his night time shifts a whole lot of fun.

"I-I… Sorry," Oliver stammered in a voice that just about broke Gakupo's heart, for more reasons he couldn't even pinpoint.

"No, it's fine." He forced a slight smile, something you learn to do well as a nurse. "It looks like I'll have someone to talk to during the night shift, at least." Like he was looking forward to that. Hey, it seemed to lift the teens spirit.

Oliver was grinning softly back at him, even though just that seemed to strain him slightly.

"Hey," his regular voice returned, the same, detached one he had used before. "What's your name? I'm Oliver."

"I'm Gakupo," he introduced himself, sounding a bit less formal than he'd like with a patient.

Oliver nodded slightly, pushing himself up in bed. "It's nice to meet you. You're my nurse now, right? I think the last one I had left."

"I wouldn't know," Gakupo told him with a slight shrug. "It's not like they tell me those kinds of things. I just treat the patients I'm told to."

"Oh. Is it a nice job?"

Gakupo nodded slightly, not quite sure if he was being honest or not as he turned to the cart he had brought, grabbing the medicine Oliver's paper had said he'd need. He set down the tray of it next to the blondes bed, wondering if he was well enough to take them himself.

Apparently not, because he simply sat there, looking up at Gakupo expectantly.

Gakupo sighed softly, trying to mask his impatience as he took a small glass of water and set it next to the medicine. Then, he carefully pulled Oliver upright on the headboard, doing his best to be gentle.

A clump of hair fell into his left eye again, so Gakupo pushed it behind his eye, quickly pulling it back when his finger brushed a scar running along Oliver's temple. The blonde flinched, but didn't say anything to him.

"Sorry," he muttered, looking down at his hands as he popped the pills out of their pockets. Five in all, two red, one a sickly green, two blue.

"It's fine. That surgery was a while ago, anyway," Oliver assured him softly. "I'm only here for my eye. After that, I might just be done with this place." His tone told Gakupo he doubted that. He'd probably been told he was leaving soon so many times he realized it might never actually come. He certainly didn't want to say anymore about it, thanks to that.

It's kind of sad, having to grow up that fast. False hope might just be better than having realized the cold truth so early in his life. But that was up to Oliver to think about; he was only a nurse.

"Alright then." Gakupo waited for Oliver to say something else. When he didn't for a while, Gakupo spoke up again. "So, how long have you been in here?"

Oliver shrugged slightly. "I forget exactly how many. They found the… Problem when I was young. So young that I don't really remember much before this life. Supposedly, if they find these things early they can fix 'em easily, but I guess mine's a bit worse than most."

"Ah, I see." Not wanting to make him any more uncomfortable, Gakupo handed Oliver the first of his pills, and the water. "What do you spend most of your time doing, then?"

"Thinking," Oliver answered easily. "You get to do a lot of that here." He stopped talking to swallow the medicine, after which Gakupo handed him the next.

"What do you think about?"

"Everything. My family."

"And what do you think about them?" Gakupo wasn't sure why he was so curious.

"I wish they had kept better care of my goldfinch after I went to the hospital." Oliver smiled bitterly at Gakupo. "I wish we had gone canoeing more than once. And that my brother…" He frowned, going silent. "N-never mind. He's not important."

"Alright then…" Not sure what to say, Gakupo didn't say much. "So, things've been tough for you?"

"That's one way to put it, I guess," Oliver shrugged. "But it doesn't really matter."

"I doubt that," Gakupo murmured, taking the glass from Oliver's hand when he finished it. "Well, that was interesting, I'll admit, See you soon."

He gave Oliver a small smile, almost genuine now, and the blonde returned it.

"Yeah, soon," Oliver replied in his almost-not-there voice. He moved back into a lying position slowly, relaxing. Gakupo glanced back at him one last time before he left the room quietly, being sure to close the door behind himself.

He carried on like normal for the rest of the day, but he couldn't stop thinking about Oliver. Sure, he was just another patient, but he had potential to be more. Not the more Gakupo's unconscious would occasionally flicker to, leaving him with a guilty feeling afterwards, sure. What were the chances Oliver was… Like him? Not too likely, and even then, he couldn't really see himself dating the smaller boy. But as in a friend, just maybe, things would work out for them.

He supposed that was fine. He looked well enough not to die anytime soon. Not a normal friend requirement, sure, but he had to remember where he was. He had to be realistic.

And, he managed to do that pretty well. He could do simple math. Oliver wanted a friend, he couldn't be hurt by gaining another one. They had to spend time together anyway, even if only a few moments were required.

So, he pushed other thoughts aside and settled on simple friendship with the boy. Which proved to be easier in real life than his mind made it seem to him.

Over the next few weeks, Gakupo (less and less against his will) continued to look after Oliver. He found the blonde could have surprisingly sweet moments, too, something he wouldn't have expected from their awkward, forced first meeting. Sure, he never talked much more than he had at their first meeting (actually, usually less), but still. That had more to do with his energy than he felt about Gakupo.

Things carried on like that, nice and fairly quiet, for a while. He wouldn't say it was an especially close friendship, but there was certainly something between Gakupo and Oliver.

And, he was close enough to Oliver to notice that he wasn't getting any better. On the contrary, every day he spent "recovering' in the hospital - he seemed to be getting weaker and weaker. Gradually - yes - but still, it was unmistakable.

And then, after only two weeks of receiving care from Gakupo, he found out that he had yet another surgery scheduled the following week.

He was a bit disheartened by that. Oliver was already weak enough; he didn't need another surgery to make his condition worse. But, what did he know? If that's what the doctors had planned for him…

Except, things rarely go as they're planned in life. And this was no exception to that rule-of-thumb.

To Gakupo's uneasiness, another week passed much quicker than he would have liked. He tried to be especially nice to Oliver, sneaking him extra food, bringing him books to enjoy, even an old iPod for him to use. But, the blonde still had a forced smile, a reluctance as he took the gifts. It all unsettled Gakupo more.

Still, the day of the surgery didn't start out too badly for him. The younger patients he had were in a good mood, having no idea about Oliver. It made him wonder who else was worrying about Oliver…

He hadn't ever seen family or friends in his room, but maybe that was just because of the times he came? Oliver had mentioned a family and brother when they first met, so he certainly had one. He made a mental note to ask Oliver when he was well enough.

Actually, he remembered, Oliver's surgery wasn't or a few more hours. Maybe they could have a short chat before he had to leave?

That thought still resonating in his head, he opened the door to Oliver room, his heart freezing when he saw what was inside.

Or, rather, what wasn't in the room.

It was Oliver. He was… Gone. Not without a trace, of course. His V, still red with blood at the needle, lay on the floor next to the bed. And, his hospital uniform lay folded on the bed, the dresser next to Oliver's bed, which he presumed held his normal clothes, still open and empty.

After a second of staring blankly at the room, he went into a panic. He dropped the medicine he had been carrying, and sprinted back to the main desk, mind running a blank of what to do.

"Has anyone seen Oliver? The boy in room 312?" He demanded when he got there three flights of stairs later, slightly out of breath. And definitely out of his mind with worry.

But, no one had. It was a miracle no one had seen a young boy walk, or in his condition, probably stagger, out of the building. But not one he could mind at the moment. Right now, he had to find Oliver. Surely, he couldn't have made it that far in his state.

Without saying anything else to the staff members, Gakupo ran out, desperately hoping Oliver was okay. Or, at the very least: alive.

Part 2:

It was hard for him to remember a time before the rogue cells in his brain ruined everything for him. Or, almost as badly, the nightmares that had almost stopped him from sleeping altogether. He couldn't quite describe them, but they had started right after his brain tumor had been diagnosed, and he would wake up in a cold sweat, panting in terror with only the faint memory of white still plaguing him.

It had started when he was less that four or five, as he remembered it, and neither the dreams or the surgery had never ended. And after a few years of them getting worse and worse, instead of better like they promised it would, he got sick of it. All he wanted to do was to sleep - have them wake up when his body was healed from the danger and finally ready for him to do the ordinary day things that had turned into mere dreams for him. Going to school, dating, nights out at town, learning from more than just the stupid online school he had been attending in various hospitals around England. Of course, those were just that, dreams. He was never going to get better, and despite all the lies from doctors and nurses; he knew it well.

So, if waiting to heal wasn't working for him, what option did he have then, but to end it already. He knew no one else would follow his line of thought, so he never bothered to explain to anyone the dark thoughts that ran in his mind. The longing for something permanent in life, even if that was only his death. Still, the idea of sweet oblivion was more appealing to him than living the rest of his life like this.

He supposed he'd counted on death coming too easily for him. It certainly had for other members of his family. His pet bird, when his parents forgot to feed him. His brother when he got in a car accident…

Why did it have to happen like that? He was still here, when a million things in surgery could have killed him already, but his brother, who was perfectly healthy all his life, was taken out by some drunk. It wasn't fair at all.

But since when was life fair? It wasn't like there was anything he could do to fix it by moping around all his life. But it also wasn't like he felt he could do anything but just that if he lived.

It wasn't what his brother would have wanted. But the accident was so long ago to him, he didn't really know what he would want at all anymore. Not what he had planned, sure, but it was what Oliver wanted. It wasn't like he had anyone left to live for, anyway.

Well, that was true. Until Gakupo came along and ruined everything for him.

When Oliver first met Gakupo, he was only another nurse. Every time before, he had been looked after by someone who didn't really care for him. He was a bit nicer than usual, sure, but he had doubted that would last for long. It never had before. Soon enough, he would only be doing what he was instructed to do, and leave Oliver alone, drowning in a pool of thought and words that would never be able to leak out of the concrete barrier around him.

But, after the first week, he started having his doubts. It shouldn't have taken Gakupo that long for him to realize Oliver wasn't worth his time of day. He found it odd, but thought nothing more of it. The cracks the Gakupo had started to form in his pool could be easily repaired when he chose to leave him alone.

By the second week, he knew something was definitely different with this situation. Was Gakupo genuinely nice, or only more stubborn than the people before him in his acting? He hoped the first, because his pool was slowly losing water. Enough to submerge him, sure, but faintly, he was starting to see more and more light above.

Halfway through his third week with Gakupo, he found his answer. It wasn't a sudden realization to him, but something more subtle, like the dark figures in his dreams that took a few nights to get him. Or, if you will, him not realizing how fast the pool was draining until it was half empty.

He wasn't positive how Gakupo felt about him, but to the best of his ability, he guessed he actually cared about Oliver. After all, he had brought him more than he was supposed to, more books for him to enjoy, extra food, a small (though very new) electronic device he couldn't name at first. Nice thought, but it was a kind of bitter reminder of how out of touch he was with the outside world.

The books, though, were great. You can't get behind on books the same way you can on electronics, since there are so many wonderful novels out there, no one could hope to make a dent in them anyway. They put everyone on an even playing field.

But the books were even greater than he had been expecting. Two classic novels that, though short, he instantly adored. And, to his slight surprise and secret happiness, a romance novel. It wasn't something he liked to admit, but he was an enthusiast for the genre, having never known it in real life before. And, to even more of his joy, it was set between two men, not a straight couple like he usually read about. Not like he minded the first, but, being bisexual, it was always nice for him to read about something other than the "normal" couple of society.

But even the books, even Gakupo, couldn't make Olivier want to stay. More than a tiny bit, anyway.

But he had made up his mind, and Gakupo or some new romance novel wasn't going to change that. It's not like he thought Gakupo would miss him much. Oliver could hardly talk very loud much thanks to his condition, and even if he could have talked, he didn't really have much to say, anyway. The only thought outside of his small life he thought were of books, and since Gakupo wasn't very into books, that left many stories unspoken.

But, it was nice of Gakupo to humor his obsession. To bring him books Gakupo assured him he "didn't have the time to read anyway." And, that was more than Oliver could ask of him to do.

Way more, now that he thought about it. Really, he couldn't ask for Gakupo to do anything but check up on him and do what the hospital told him. Still, for the sake of having at least one person he could count on in the world, he pretended Gakupo was inclined to at least make conversation with him. If he stopped everything else, Oliver knew he would at least keep talking to him.

For however long he had left. Which, he was starting to realize, wasn't much. Soon, if he didn't move quickly, his pool would be empty. He would have no more water, he would choke on the air. He would be forced to meet the people outside.

But he didn't want any of them. He wanted his brother. He was the last person before Gakupo who bothered with Oliver. And, he had assumed he would be the last.

Well, second to last now. But, wasn't it better this way? Sure, he could force a smile around Gakupo for now, but when the water cleared, he would surely realize it was false, put on for his sake. Like the first time they had met, and he had been too tired to properly put on his mask. And he told Gakupo about the nightmares.

Soon, he wouldn't have to worry about them. Or anything.

He knew he should stay around for Gakupo, for the first glimmer of hope he'd had in years. But he was too wet. If it got any closer to him, he'd surely extinguish it. And then where would he be? No, it was better like this.

And, he had another reason for his hidden desire suddenly popping up. As Gakupo had informed him about a week ago, he was going to have a corrective surgery for the tumor behind his eye. His right eye. His good eye.

He could still see with his left eye, but every day it was getting worse and worse from disuse and general lack of ability to perform. He was told, given a year or two, he'd probably be blind in it.

And, he'd been told, the surgery might rob him of most of his sight. But, his parents had consented, and he had to do it if he wanted to live.

Which, he didn't.

So, around half an hour before the time Gakupo came in to check on him, his heart pounding he ran. It wasn't easy, and it hurt like hell pulling the I.V out of his arm, but he wouldn't have much longer to care about that. He grabbed his regular clothes, which he had kept next to the dresser for a few weeks, and changed into them swiftly. When that was done, and he had wrapped a small bandage on his arm to keep it from bleeding too profusely;he left.

It was surprisingly easy, striding through the halls and down the stairs. No one paid him much mind, just a blonde teen wandering through the hospital to find his friend or something. They didn't even recognize him. Of course, he supposed the large white, blue brimmed hat and navy blue oversized jacket helped a bit.

His heart still flitting almost painfully in his chest, he made It outside, and breathed deeply the fresh air for the first time in a few weeks. After his brief pause, he lowered his head, and continued to stagger helplessly down the street, trying not to draw attention to himself. And, despite his rather odd appearance, he didn't.

As he walked down the street, he ached inside, wishing he could have at the very least said goodbye to Gakupo. But, no, Gakupo would have been suspicious of that. And he never would have let him out of his sight if he knew why he was saying it.

And, a smaller longing pained inside of him, for that novel Gakupo had promised to bring him after his surgery, if he felt well enough to read. But, at least he knew how it ended, if not from the authors lips, than his. The main character had died. It was obvious, he thought, to anyone who had read the first two books.

He smiled slightly, darkly, thinking over than instead of Gakupo.

"A fitting end for both of us, I suppose," he muttered, hurrying faster down the nearly deserted sidewalk.

Part 3:

Gakupo ran out of the glass front doors, trying desperately to think of where Oliver would go to. He was smart enough to stay away from anywhere dangerous, right?

Maybe his home, then? Or his parents home? But he doubted that. Oliver hardly ever talked about that or his parents, and besides, he had no idea where that would be.

Water? Oliver did talk a bit about how much he missed swimming and canoeing, that could be it.

But there were so many public pools in London, there was no way he could check them all before Oliver got himself into trouble. Besides, going to a pool didn't seem like Oliver. Knowing him, he'd probably gone…

The river! Of course! Why hadn't he thought of that immediately? Moments after the thought came to mind, he started off in that direction, ignoring the people he bumped into on his way. He had much more important things on mind.

The fear inside of him was enough to give him speed, but it didn't take him long to get winded. In the chilly morning air, his lungs started to burn.

If it was going this bad for him, he could only imagine how awful Oliver was right about now. Or, at least, he really hoped Oliver was still feeling.

That thought was enough to give him power to suck in a deep breath, ignoring the protests from his under-exercised body as he picked up speed.

What if Oliver hurt himself? The thought rang through his mind. It, with help from the sprint through the city, made him nauseous. What if he's dead? Gakupo knew he would never forgive himself.

This feeling, the concern flowing through his veins, led even his panicked, feeling mind to an obvious conclusion. If Oliver were just a client or casual friend, he wouldn't be panicking like this, he knew it. In the hospital, he had seen enough people go not to be as moved by the thought of death as he used to. And yet, here he still was, more terrified than he had ever been before in his life at the prospect of losing someone he hadn't even known that long. But, why?

Frustrated he pushed past a pair of teenage girls who were walking casually over the entire sidewalk. Ignoring the murmurs coming from them behind him, he continued on as quickly as before, his body not daring to allow him to be tired yet. And he knew all too well why.

The words finally came out of his dark, suppressed thoughts at the same tempo as his quick, rhythmic run.

I love him.

A simple phrase that gave even more power to his sprint, tapping out a beat on the sidewalk as he hurried along. A beat the kept repeating the words over and over, not letting him take his mind off his goal for a fraction of a moment. He didn't miss a beat, and almost ran in tandem with his pounding heart.

He might as well have been running for his life for that moment.

And life was the only thing on his mind, saving Oliver, chastising himself for not saying it earlier and giving him a reason to stay.

"Please, please be okay," he panted softly, hoping someone, somewhere would hear and help him. He wasn't religious, but a slight hope still lingered in his heart that a miracle could arise from enough pleas. Not like that had worked for most of the mourning families he had seen, but he didn't really want to think about them right now.

He was snapped out of his repeating thoughts and broken from his rhythm when, lifting his eyes, he spotted a familiar face ahead of him, free from the confines of the light crowd around them.

"Oliver!" He cried out, not sure if he should run up and hit him for being so stupid, or squeeze the life out of him in relief. In the end, he didn't do either, as Oliver turned to see him, and in the instant his eyes met Gakupo's, they filled with surprise and a barely suppressed terror.

Gakupo's heart sank as Oliver turned and tried bolting away from Gakupo.

"No!" He screamed, faster that Oliver as he caught up with him, even in his tired state. It didn't take him more than a few moments to grab onto Oliver's wrist as tightly as he could. The blonde winced, struggling as much as he could against Gakupo. But, after what he went through trying to find him, Gakupo didn't dare let him slip out again.

"B-but, I'm so close…" Oliver whispered hoarsely, staring at Gakupo with wide eyes. "Only a little more, and I would have gotten to…"

"What?" Gakupo demanded roughly. "Why the hell did you come out here? Do you know how worried I was about you?"

Oliver looked up at him, a little guilt showing in his injured expression. "I-I… I couldn't take it anymore… I can't take it anymore. Don't…." It clearly pained him to speak.

"Of course I will! I'd do anything to make sure you're safe." Gakupo assured him.

"No, don't say that!" Oliver begged desperately. "Move on, don't worry about me. I'll be happy."

"No you won't! You'll die out here if you stay," Gakupo told him urgently.

"But…"

Gakupo went on without hearing him. "I know it's bad, but you're so close, I can't let you run away now, it'll mean everything you went through so far was meaningless. You don't realize how much danger-"

"Yes I do!" Oliver finally interjected, nearly screaming. "That's the point!" With a final, miraculous tug he wrenched himself out of Gakupo's grip in the moment he was shocked by Oliver's exclamation.

"W-w,-" Gakupo snapped out of it. "No! Stop!" He yelled, forcing his still slightly paralyzed legs to follow Oliver, who was somehow moving with more speed than before.

So that was it… He supposed he should have seen it coming. Still ,it still came as a shock to Gakupo. He hoped seeing him would convince Oliver to come back with him. But, it had the opposite effect than intended on him. But he could think about that later…

Oliver was right about himself being so close, as in a few moments Gakupo crossed the change in asphalt that signified the beginning of the cities smaller, concrete bridge. A smaller one most people who came didn't know, or care about. But, if he didn't hurry it was about to become the most important thing in his mind for years to come.

"Stop!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, seeing Oliver a little ahead him, his chest visibly heaving as he climbed tiredly over the concrete barrier that formed the border of the bridge.

Oliver's gaze shot up from the river under his feet to Gakupo, fear obvious in his expression. That was good, right? But he still wasn't getting off the barrier.

"Oliver, please.." He slowly moved towards Oliver. "Don't do this…"

"But why?" Oliver demanded, his eyes watering from the bitter wind or his boiling over emotions. Or both. "Why do you care? You're 'just my nurse.' I don't mean anything to you. Only another victim to check off your list."

The stung Gakupo. "Please, you're not thinking straight. I won't take you back, I promise, just get away…"

"And who are you to tell me to do that? You don't know me! You couldn't possibly, all I've told you were pathetic snippets and lies so far. You're nothing more than… Than…" He couldn't seem to make the next word come out.

"I told you, you're not right now."

"Am I ever? The world doesn't need someone like me." Oliver growled dangerously.

"B-but I do!" Gakupo finally told, wanting desperately to lunge forward and grab Oliver. If they both lived, he would never let him go again.

"Really now? And why's that? You're just my nurse." Oliver said, glaring.

"Because I…" Now wasn't the time for embarrassment. "I love you."

An expression of surprise came over Oliver. "W-what? No you don't, you're only saying that to get me down." But, even so, his death grip on the barrier had loosened.

"No I'm not, I mean it," Gakupo swore earnestly. Noticing Gakupo's expression, Oliver faltered again, glancing down at the canal below them.

"Don't do something stupid, please. I need you." Gakupo' voice got tighter. "I love you," he repeated.

"But…" Oliver shook his head. "No, this isn't… How it's supposed to go. I'm alone, no one cares in the end…"

"Then you were lying to yourself, because I care. More than anything else in the world, I care." Seeing Oliver's reluctance to continue his former plan, he stepped forward again, looking into Oliver's eyes the entire time.

"Gakupo…" He moved an inch closer to the foreboding edge only centimeters away from one of his feet. "I can't do that…"

"No," Gakupo gained his power back, but still froze at the sight.

"It's kind of funny," Oliver offered his a slight smile, barely noticeable on his withered lips. "I loved you too, you know. But not enough to stay."

After saying this, he released his grip on the concrete barrier, and Gakupo could see his body go limp.

His mind went into a panic. Seeing more conversation and stalling wouldn't work, Gakupo went for it and lunged to Oliver. He grabbed onto his upper arm, feeling the boy tense up under him. If the strong wind hadn't pushed them back, Gakupo might have fallen over the edge with the extra momentum.

"N-no, you don't-"

"I don't care, there's no way I'm letting you do this. Alright?"

He managed to drag back Oliver over the barrier, standing him up cautiously, never letting go of his wrist.

"No, it's not." But Oliver didn't seem to have the strength to carry through with his threat. Noticing how weak he was, Gakupo cautiously moved him from the ground into his arms. He took a moment to love the feeling of Oliver, breathing softly, heart pulsing strongly, in his arms. Alive, if not healthy. He allowed himself a slight grin, and softly kissed Oliver's forehead, unexplainably joyful, even if Oliver wasn't sharing it. He would, once he got home.

Home… Seeming to read his mind, Oliver spoke up, not bothering to meet Gakupo's gaze.

"You promised not to take back there," he said softly, barely audible.

"I know, I won't," Gakupo said. "How about I take you back to my place, alright?" It was terrible plan, but the risk of suicide was more urgent than his tumor at the point. "But, you have to promise to me not to leave there unless I tell you."

"Or else what?"

"I'll work on that later, just don't, alright?"

Oliver sighed softly. "Alright," he said, sounding like he was admitting defeat. And, in a way, he was.

Gakupo, held Oliver closer to his body, after feeling is frame tremble slightly in the breeze. Hoping it was enough, he started off, both of them silent, still mortified by their hurried confessions.

Part 4:

Oliver had only had one, strange, though coursing through his mind when he spotted Gakupo.

Run. As fast as he could. But, a few moments later, 'how did he find me here?,' 'why is he here,' and the like also came into the playing field.

But he couldn't focus on them, or else risk getting caught in his momentary distraction.

Cursing under his breath, he tried going faster, though he was near exhausted by now. He was starting to doubt himself on this. If Gakupo really didn't care for him, why would he be so quick to be out here, helping, or trying to, help him? Maybe he really did…

No, Gakupo barely knew him. He hadn't even suspected Oliver was going to run off, so why would he know enough to care, if he didn't even know his most obvious feature.

"Oliver!" he heard faintly behind him, though the loud talking of the ever-thinning people between them. This was getting bad.

"Wait!" Someone screamed, their voice closer than last time. How had he caught up so quickly?

Before he could sprint again, he felt a tight grip on his wrist, and his heart stopped for a moment in the midst of the awful panic.

"Gahh!" He forgot for a moment how to force words out. "L-let me go!"

"Like hell I am!" Gakupo's words streamed out. "Y-you, I could…" Oliver couldn't quite catch what Gakupo could, but he didn't really care right now.

Then, noticing Gakupo's face soften slightly in confusion, and his grip too, he took the opportunity to tear away from him.

"H-hey! Stop!" It took a few moments for Gakupo to recover, and in that short gap, he put a bit of distance between them. A "Get back here!" came out from behind him, and from the sound of it, Gakupo was catching up to him.

But, before it could get any closer, he took off as fast as he could, tearing down the sidewalk with speed that even surprised himself. In a few moments, a sign passed him, signifying that he had crossed the border between land and the bridge crossing the gap between the two sections of the city, over dark, twirling water.

"You don't understand, I-I was so close…" He meant it as a whisper, but his uncooperative vocal cords made him nearly scream it. Or at least he thought he did. His ears seemed just as unwilling to help as his voice did at the moment.

"What?" Gakupo barked. "Close to what? Why are you even out here?"

Oliver flinched at his harsh voice. Maybe Gakupo really didn't care about him…

"I couldn't take it anymore," he managed to soften his voice, lessen the strain it took on him. "The surgery, the loneliness, the boredom… The yearning…" Though yearning for what exactly he had never figured out.

"Come on, please, just… Don't do this to yourself, for any reason."

At this point, Oliver felt himself starting to slip slightly. Like a box, he thought. His lid was coming, and Gakupo was finally going to witness the madness that lay inside the package he had been curious about for weeks.

And, to only prove it to itself more, he chuckled darkly at Gakupo. "Ha, why do you care? You're 'just my nurse,' like you said before. It's not like you actually care about me! I'm only another victim to add to your college resume, aren't I?"

"Oliver, you're not right in the head right now, alright? Don't try and make decisions like this, you'll regret it… But if you really hate it, I don't have to take you back to the hospital…"

The hurt in Gakupo's expression was evident, but it only provoked Oliver to go further.

"How come you can tell me if I am or if I ain't right in the head?" He demanded harshly, glaring harshly at Gakupo in a swift change of mood. "You couldn't possibly know who I am or not! You don't really know me, just think you do. How could you? I've only told you lies or bent bits of truth since you've met me! You don't know me more than… He…" Oliver couldn't force the next words out, pain forming a lump in his throat.

He shot a glance at Gakupo as he took advantage of the momentary weakness. "I know you better than you think, Oliver. And I know you well enough to know that you don't think like this."

"Ha," Oliver said again, pulling back from Gakupo slightly. "You wish. Of course I do."

"No you don't, you're just not well right now-"

"That's because I'm never well, if you haven't realized it by now!" Oliver screamed, starling Gakupo. "I'm a madman stuck in a decaying body, so if you think that things like this aren't always running through what's left of my mind, you obviously don't know anything about me! And if you don't know anything about me, you couldn't possibly care about me."

"I-I do!" Gakupo finally got in after his rant. In retaliation, Oliver growled at him.

"Really? What's my brothers name? Where is he right now? How important is he to me? How did my parents treat me growing up? Why don't they ever even fucking visit me?"

Gakupo was stunned by the outburst. "That's what I thought," Oliver snapped sharply. "You don't know me at all."

"I do one thing about you.." Gakupo mumbled, his gaze slipping to the ground.

"Really now? Do you have the audacity to tell me what that is?" Oliver demanded hotly.

"I know that…" Gakupo faltered for a moment. "I know I love you."

Oliver almost laughed, before realizing Gakupo was serious. "W-wait, what?" A moment later, he glared back at Gakupo again. "No you don't. You're only saying that so I won't jump, aren't you?" Even in the midst of saying his accusation, his tight grip on the cement wall had loosened ever so slightly, his hand become the fourth body part that refused to do what he wanted it to.

"No, I meant-mean it, promise," Gakupo told him. "Don't do something stupid, Oliver, beg you. I need you think about this. I need you to think about it, at least once, About how… How I love you."

"No, no, no, no, no, no…" One of Oliver's hands reached up, gripping at his long hair, like that could help any. "This isn't how it goes. I die alone, I die in loneliness, unloved by anyone left here…"

"What do you mean that's how to goes? Clearly it's now," Gakupo's voice softened. "Because more than anything else in the world, I care. And I most certainly love you." Gakupo stepped forward slightly, and Oliver only flinched slightly. But, in that, he inched slightly closer to the edge.

"I-I'm sorry, I can't."

"No," he barely heard the pained whisper.

"Well, doesn't the universe have a dark sense of humor," Oliver offered a genuine, but still dark, smile. "I loved you too, you know. Not enough to stay for you, but I still did." With that, he let go of the railing next to him, having every intention to fall in an instant.

Then, hearing a loud scream, he felt a strong hand his upper arm.

"What do you think you're doing!" He cried, but he couldn't be heard over the sudden wind, that seemed to practically push him back to Gakupo's arms.

"N-no" he whispered again, freezing in place. "Y-you… Please…"

"I'm.." Oliver looked up to see tears were rolling down Gakupo's cheeks. "My god, Oliver." His voice was tight, almost painful to hear. "You had me thinking… Shit, I was terrified, about ready to jump down to grab you."

Oliver almost made a remark back to him but before he could, he froze in shock when he felt he thought he never would. Warm lips on his own cold ones.

Gakupo was kissing him. A small noise came from the back of his throat, but he was powerless against the moment.

Though, it felt like for years, that lovingly warm, and surprisingly soothing moment between the two of them. Sure, Oliver was still plenty mad when Gakupo pulled back slowly and reluctantly, but he the fire that had been burning inside him was calmed to one he couldn't see the text of his thoughts by anymore.

"I-I thought I would never get to do that." Gakupo stared him with surprisingly sad eyes. Not sure what else he should do, Oliver stood up taller, grabbing Gakupo's neck tightly as he managed to pull him into a second kiss.

It was quicker than the second, but only lessened Oliver's fire more.

Now that it was over, and his arms released from Gakupo, leaning on him for support. He hadn't realized until then how sick he felt. But, he had to ask one more thing.

"So… Does this mean we're…" He paused a moment to catch his breath.

"Dating?" Gakupo offered a weak smile, clearly shaken himself. "Do you want to?"

"I-I guess so.." he replied, gripping the front of Gakupo's shirt to keep himself up.

"Then I'll give you some time to think it over," Gakupo promised him. "If you really want to, I'll be by your side forever. If not, the same still applies, only a little differently."

Oliver nodded exhaustedly, and Gakupo, picking up on it, carefully lifted Oliver off the ground, into his arms.

"Well, a promise is a promise I guess." Gakupo said, more to himself. "Let's go back to my place."

Oliver, too dead tired to think anymore, fell asleep in his arms in moments.

Part 5:

Gakupo sighed softly to himself, still not over how close he had been to losing Oliver. It had been terrifying for him, to see that. But, everything was okay now, he supposed.

Oliver had even kissed him…

Of course, he did first, but still. It was something he doubted he would ever get over, like the almost-falling-off-the-bridge part.

That hurt to think about. So, he didn't. Instead, he focused on the breathing, real, and surprisingly handsome asleep Oliver in his arms. He slept surprisingly sound for all the jostling Gakupo was having to do to keep him in his arms. And, considering he barely ever slept at the hospital, and even then, the sound of a pin drop was enough to wake him. But Gakupo got the feeling just about nothing could wake Oliver right now.

And he didn't mind too much. He had a lot of thinking to do after what had happened to him.. Them, he guessed.

But both of them were disrupted from the walk when a wailing siren passed by them, startling Gakupo and waking Oliver, who grumbled unhappily.

"it's alright," Gakupo assured him softly, but the damage was done. Oliver stared up at him, eyes wide.

"Did I ever tell you…" His voice trailed off, and he looked confused by the sudden outburst. "Umm, sorry. I don't know."

Gakupo frowned, but nodded slightly. It must have been from his dream.

"What was it about this time?" Oliver told him about small pieces of his dream, but he had never really revealed the big picture to him.

Oliver shivered slightly. "Someone was trying to wake me up…"

So this wasn't an exception to the snippet-only rule on his dreams. Gakupo supposed he shouldn't expect more. They had only kissed, after all. He had done that to plenty of people, and soon learned it didn't really mean much in the real world. And anyone can say "I love you." They still had to prove it to each other.

Still shaken slightly, Oliver shifted closer to Gakupo's chest, sighing slightly. "I couldn't see their face, and I can't remember their voice. But it was… Familiar. I think… I think they were saying goodbye?" He shook his head. "I can't remember what it was exactly, but it was to that effect."

That was a bit surprising. "I see," Gakupo told him softly, though the big picture was obviously lost on both of them this time.

"I guess it's kind of good I woke up… I felt really sad about it," Oliver confessed. "But I don't even know who he was. My brother, maybe? But I would recognize him anywhere…"

That would be the second time he referenced his brother. But, it was clearly a painful topic, so Gakupo didn't pursue it further. Instead, he just said "I wouldn't know."

"I don't either, usually. It's always depressing, or scary, or…" Oliver shook his head, hugging Gakupo's torso tightly. "I'd much rather be here with you in the real world."

"I like that too," Gakupo said, a faint smile working its way onto his lips. "I love it."

"Yeah," Oliver murmured, already starting to nod off again.

"It's alright," Gakupo assured him. "Go back to sleep. We'll have more than enough time to talk when we get home."

Oliver nodded slightly, not even commenting on the "we get home" part as he fell asleep again.

Part (Final Part):

It was a bit tricky, getting Oliver into his apartment building. But he managed to get attention away from him and the unconscious boy in his arms by telling the person at the main desk he was his boyfriend, and Oliver had passed out at a friends house, too exhausted to get in and out of the car himself. Gakupo wasn't the best liar, but the clerk didn't seem to be too interested and simply nodded at him, before going back to whatever work she had to do, rolling her eyes slightly at the disruption.

That's good, Gakupo assured himself. Now he just had to call up the hospital and lie to them. He had accumulated a few days off after all the time he had worked around the clock, right? He hoped so. At least a day. He couldn't imagine returning Oliver without at the very least getting that.

It's not like he's leaving, he'll still be there. That was comforting. What wasn't was thinking about the kind of trouble he'd be in if someone found out about this. Hopefully they'd understand, Oliver was suicidal and he'd kill himself most likely if Gakupo brought him back. But that didn't change that what he was doing was, technically, kidnapping…

He sighed shaking his head slightly

He struggled to press the elevator button. The building wasn't too big, only a few stories, so he didn't have to wait long. It wasn't the best apartment building in the city, but the places here were pretty cheap considering other apartments in the city. Though the old, scratched wooden furniture in the lobby, sour-smelling grey elevator and tiny room sizes gave anyone a good idea why. Still, it was the best Gakupo could do in this day and age.

The slight rattling finally woke up Oliver up again, who didn't look up at Gakupo again, only rested his head on his chest, seeming to get slight comfort from it.

"Have another one?" Gakupo asked him softly. He could feel Oliver nod slightly.

"I was… Crying," he whispered. "I don't know why, but I was."

"Do you ever think the dreams are trying to tell you something?" Gakupo pursued further after a few moments of silence.

"Y-yeah, all the time. I don't know what, but they are…"

"From your past?" Gakupo tried.

"Maybe.." Oliver murmured, but whatever response he had was blocked out by the ping of the elevator reaching Gakupo's floor. He stepped off, and finally set Oliver down, helping him stand up.

"Maybe we should have done that earlier.." He muttered, wincing as he stretched out his sore arms.

"O-oh, sorry…" Oliver replied, gaze averted to the floor.

"Don't worry, I could use a little workout here and there. Never get to visit the gym anymore with all the work I have to do."

"Alright.." Oliver took his hand, smiling softly. "Well, you're a ton stronger than me. I'd never be able to carry you that long!"

Gakupo rolled his eyes slightly, pulling his key chain out of his pocket. Oliver grinned slightly at him when he saw the small Japanese cat charms on it.

"What?" Gakupo looked at him. "They're just cats, big deal."

"But they're so cute, that doesn't seem your type."

"If I wasn't into cute things, why do you think I would have fallen in love with you?" Gakupo teased, unlocking the door as he said the words.

Oliver blushed slightly, silenced by embarrassment. When Gakupo opened the door, he slipped inside in front of him silently, turning on the first light in the hall.

"I like it," Oliver announced when Gakupo got inside and locked the door after himself.

"It's not much," Gakupo shrugged. "But thanks, I try to make it as nice as possible."

It was a cozy apartment for being so small. The main hallway was narrow, and went on for a few feet before it got to the kitchen. On the other side of the kitchens empty doorway was a small living room with a couch that could double as a bed. And, at the end of the apartment it was met with a door Oliver assumed led to the bedroom. But more than that, rough but still appealing, colorful pictures hung from the walls. The entire apartment followed a simple, fax wood theme, aside from the white fridge. And, on one side of the living room stood a 20-gallon fish tank, with many colorful decorations and a beautiful coral theme.

"What's in there?" Oliver asked, quickly making his way to the fish tank.

"Oh, them." Gakupo grinned, following Oliver. "Can you see them?"

Oliver stared at it for a minute, but he couldn't make out any fish in it. "Are they hiding?"

"No," Gakupo told him. He Pointed to small dash of color at the bottom that Oliver had dismissed as a piece of coral at first.

"What's that?" He asked, leaning. The object was about three inches long, one wide. On closer inspection, the small thing had two eyes sitting on top of its ovular body, and four legs. The two back ones were fat and stubby, with odd black claws sticking off the ends. The front ones were thinner, extending a bit beyond the animals body. And, to make things weirder, the entire animal was neon pink.

"He's an African Clawed Frog," Gakupo told him, leaning over to tap the glass softly. The frog flinched back before proceeding to swim off, his fat back legs amazing fast at moving him. "There's three of them."

It only took Oliver to find the other two, one neon green and the other a ghostly white.

"Why are they colored so weirdly?"

"They used to be a friends. He got them from a pet store, who dyed their skin." Gakupo frowned. "It must have been painful, but they're a lot happier here with me."

Oliver nodded, standing up. "Names?"

"The green one's Eraqet, after the Egyptian Frog Goddess. The pink one's Aradia. And the white one's Ra."

Oliver nodded. "I like them." He grinned. "Much better than a pet cat."

Gakupo shrugged. "I can't touch them, but they're a lot easier to care for, I guess. And they never get in the way."

Oliver stood up, looking to Gakupo "So they're all the pets you have?"

"Aside from the shrimp and fish I keep in my room to feed them? No, they're all." Gakupo smiled. "I'll show you them in a minute, but they aren't much. First, let's get some food, I'm assuming you're hungry."

Oliver smiled weakly, nodding. "Yeah, that sounds good." He followed Gakupo out of the small room, into the kitchen, where there was only your basic kitchen appliances, the standard cupboard for storing dishes, and a small bar stool to eat at.

"Are you much of a cook?"

"No, no," Gakupo chuckled slightly. "First time I've been asked that. But I can make the basics, cereal, toast, oatmeal. Want anything like that?"

Oliver shrugged. "Whatever you have, I guess."

Nodding, Gakupo headed to the fridge. "Have you ever had eggplant parmesan?"

Oliver shook his head,. "No, is it good?"

Gakupo stared at him for a moment. "Good? Well it is my favorite food, so yeah, pretty good."

"Hey, hey, it's not my fault."

"I know, I know," Gakupo murmured, turning around and mumbled something about "people never even got him eggplant! Eggplant, for gods sake!" Oliver couldn't help but smile at the remark.

"So where have you been around the world?" He asked curiously while Gakupo heated up a plate with slices of eggplant and rich red sauce in the microwave.

"Well, I went to Italy once for a few months, fell in love with the food." Gakupo grinned. "When I got back, I could barely stand the food for a week or so. I've been to Japan a few times. But I think of here more of home since I was raised here, even if I was technically born there."

"Oh." It hadn't struck Oliver to ask where Gakupo had been born, he had always simply assumed that he was born in England after his parents came over from Japan.

"But, Tokyo is a pretty nice sight, I guess. But it's not exactly fun towering over the other guys, and constantly getting gawked at for my weird hair." Gakupo laughed softly. "I mean, I get remarks here too., but not nearly as many wide eyed stares." He looked back to Oliver. "Japanese people don't have that many people who look as different as I do, I guess. It's not nearly the country the media makes it out to be."

"I see," Oliver said softly, but he wasn't sure if Gakupo had heard him.

"Oh, and I've been to America a few times," Gakupo added. "Florida, California, even Las Vegas once, though the last one didn't go so well." He smiled bitterly. "Ended up wasting about a hundred dollars before my ex finally stopped me. Could have been a lot worse, though."

"How about Florida and California?" Oliver asked, interested.

"Oh, they were great. Tons of beaches to visit, and I got to go to both Disney's there. It was great, and I guess Americans are used to guys like me, because I didn't get a remark on my hair except 'hey, love the look.' They were fun." He turned around when the microwave went off, pulling the steaming plate out. "But that's more than enough about me, you should eat and get some rest."

Nodding, Oliver took the plate from Gakupo, taking a deep breath. "Huh, smells pretty good."

"Just wait 'till you taste it." Gakupo moved around the counter, handing Oliver a napkin and silverware. He gently kissed the top of Oliver's head in a soft gesture, before moving away. "I'll be back in a moment, I have to get cleaned up," he told Oliver. "If you need anything, I'm in the bedroom."

Oliver nodded slightly, flustered once again. He watched Gakupo leave, sighing softly as the door slammed. But it wasn't like the hospital, he was right there, through the door, and if he wanted, he could go and get him this instant.

And he really wanted to. But he couldn't, he knew, when he heard the shower water starting to run from the bedroom. Sighing, he got to work eating the eggplant, which he supposed he liked, but not as much as Gakupo had made it seem like he would. Still, it was better than most of what he had gotten served at the hospital.

He finished most of the plate, and threw out the rest, feeling stuffed. He had enough housework sense to put it in the sink, though, beyond that, he wasn't quite sure what to do. So, not wanting to mess anything up, he crossed the thin wood-tiled hallway to the small living room. He entertain himself observing the three frogs, though only Ereqet's name hadn't slipped his mind. But after what felt like forever, Gakupo still wasn't done. He lay down on the couch, but wasn't really tired after how long he'd been sleeping in Gakupo's arms while he was walking. Besides, his dreams were being particularly bad today.

So, he could lay there for so long before growing bored. Maybe Gakupo had books here? But he hadn't seen any coming in. That only left the bedroom.

Surely Gakupo wouldn't mind if he just borrowed a book, and he had told him to come in if he needed anything.

He got up slowly, his muscles still tired but not his mind, and headed to the bedroom, glad the apartment was so small. Maybe after he got out he could, by some miracle, live here? He was still a minor, but he doubted his parents would care much if he did.

But that was all for later, for after he got the last surgery, when he might finally get out of the hospital. Right now, he had a lot of other things running through his mind.

Like those dreams. They were so unsettling…

He shook his head. They were nothing. Only reflections of his life, that's all.

Oliver knocked lightly on the wooden door, but, getting no response, let himself in.

Gakupo was still in the shower, as was evident by the sound of running water behind a door to the right of Oliver. On his left was a small, shallow closet. In front of him, a twin-sized bed backed by a window with a nice view of the park below them, and next to the bed, on the left was Gakupo's promised tank sparsely filled with half-an-inch or so long fish. And on the right, a wooden bookshelf packed with novels.

Smiling, Oliver walked to it, scanning over the titles. A rather large book with only the word Night written on the side with what appeared to be scratch marks from some kind of beast caught his eye. He pulled it off the shelf, turning around as he flipped through the pages quickly. It looked interesting, and he did have a soft spot for horror.

He froze when the bathroom door clicked, swinging inwards. Steam poured out, and so did Gakupo, a towel around his hips and another one he was using to dry his slightly tangled hair.

"Oh!" Gakupo said when he noticed Oliver. "Hey, you okay? Sorry, it takes me-"

"S-sorry!" Oliver flushed, rushing out of the room. It wasn't that bad, he was only shirtless, but still…

A few minutes Gakupo emerged, now clothed, only to find Oliver curled up on the couch.

"Hey…" He frowned, peering into the room. "It's okay Oliver, it's not a big deal…" When he didn't respond, Gakupo sighed, sitting down at the end of the couch.

Oliver finally uncurled a little, peering up at Gakupo. "R-really?"

"Yeah, of course," Gakupo promised. "Why would I be mad?"

Oliver shrugged slightly, slowly sitting up. "S-still, I'm sorry… For everything, I guess…"

Gakupo shook his head. "You don't have to be, remember? I.." He paused a moment, still not used to this kind of speech. "I love you exactly as you stand before me, got it?"

Oliver nodded slightly, a slow smile spreading across his expression. "I think… I've made up my mind on what you said before. I do want to. I really want too."

Looking a little surprised, Gakupo stared at him. "You sure?"

"More than I've been about just about everything else I've done," Oliver told him.

Slowly, Gakupo relaxed. "Good, I was really wishing you would," he admitted. "I know It sounds selfish, but I can't help it."

"That's not selfish, I want the same thing." Oliver shifted towards Gakupo, leaning on him. He looked up, meeting Gakupo's eyes. Oliver could tell he was lonely from those eyes whenever he was in the hospital, but now, the emotion had lessened in them. It was replaced by a subtly, gentler one, though he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

In a moment, before he quite realized what he was doing, or had time to think it over (in which case he certainly wouldn't have) he leaned up just enough for their lips to touch, ever so softly.

Not feeling Gakupo flinch back, he leaned in more, closing his eyes as he deepened the kiss. It felt a lot better than he'd have thought from all the romance novels he'd read.

It didn't take Gakupo long to respond in like, and any inexperience Oliver was suffering from was made up by Gakupo's wealth of it.

After a bit he pulled back, looking hopelessly at Gakupo.

"G-Gakupo," Oliver stared, feeling a firm blush start again. "I know this is a lot to ask, but.. Before you take me back to the hospital, which I know you have to, don't worry, could we.. Erm… I wanted to before, in case I can't see anymore after this."

Gakupo too seemed embarrassed by the request, but nodded after a bit. "Sure, if you want." Oliver sighed softly in relief, slowly sitting back on the couch.

The next few minutes were quick and hazy at the time, but looking back, Oliver could easily recall and picture the events. Gakupo leaned over him, their kissing slowly growing more and more passionate. Oliver made the first move, wrapping an arm loosely around his neck to pull Gakupo closer.

This was so much better than he had imagined it.

Except, a problem was creeping in, refusing to be pushed out by his mind. Already, his mind was hazy enough from everything, but as things continued to get more heated between them, it only grew more so. Thoughts and sentences fell to disconnected words and letters jumbled in his decaying mind. Was Gakupo touching him? He thought so but he… Couldn't quite… Make out the feeling… The touch felt rougher than Gakupo's, or was that only in his mind? He couldn't tell.

In a few moments, his lungs seemed to explode in a burning pain, searing straight through to his heart. He gasped desperately for air, pushing Gakupo off of him, back hacked at the air at the sudden, metallic the air possessed. It was too warm, almost liquid.

He couldn't breath.

A faint voice made it over the pounding, pounding, the person screaming in his ears. But he didn't care. No, he couldn't care. They were only a figment of his imagination.

As it faded away leaving the deathly pounding of his terrified heart struggling for survival, he felt despair envelop him in a much more hideous display than the water he had trusted so much ever would have.

A terrible thought managed to slip through the barrier of agony in his tortured mind.

He was dying. His heart promised him. It could have been worse, but that didn't make it to him.

But, if this was his death at last, why couldn't it come faster? Why did the universe hate him so much? What did he ever do in a past life to deserve this?

He kneeled over, feeling the cold tile beneath his knees as he did so. An odd last sensation for a dying person, he noted. His arms clung to the side of the bed as he tried hopelessly to hack up whatever was stopping his breathing. And he thought he managed to spit out a bit of blood, but nothing more than that. Bright white lines crept into his vision, soon becoming all he could see. The tearing feeling that had started in his chest spread through his body, blazing like fire inside of him. It tore at his stomach, his limbs'. And, most painfully, his eyes.

It was all too much for even him. He screamed at the top of his crumbling lungs, but even his own voice couldn't be heard above what was now a horrible, ringing sound all around him.

"Help me!" He tried desperately calling, but if Gakupo was there, and trying to fulfill his request, his senses couldn't detect him.

Then, at last, a wonderful, sudden weariness overcame him, and in an instant his eyes rolled back as he collapsed onto whatever ground now lay below him, he couldn't tell anymore. He thought that after all his pleading for the moment, he was finally fading from the world. If only he knew the world was only fading from him.

**The end of: I'm afraid of the dark**

**(Thanks to my beta readers for helping me improve this! It's not perfect, but it's a fairly simple story so I didn't feel it needed to be.)**


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